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(Mental) Edge.

What gives you the (Mental) Edge?  This weekend, I played in the Lifetime Fitness Tennis tournament.  For a detailed score list, click here.  Each time I step on the court I am reminded that the game is really played between the ears. Great players have a great (Mental) Edge.  It’s something I am fascinated with – because it applies off the court as welll.  Plus, it’s applicable to us all. In our lives in and OUT of work. 

The (Mental) Edge is something that can be in hiding.  And creep in only to destroy you (or your game).  It can also be something that you intentionally work with and use as a catapult to push you to victory.  

I’ll be honest – my (Mental) Edge Sunday morning at 11 a.m. was at an all time low.  I had just finished playing a grueling 2 hour match that consisted of 2 consecutive tie-break sets.  I was able to preserver and come out on top.  But my (Mental) Edge as I looked forward to playing in the Finals in just 45 minutes was about to destroy me.  I was fatigued – physically and mentally.  I didn’t think there was any more gas in the tank to keep me going.  Especially to compete against a 20-something who finished his match in under an hour.  Negativity started to creep in.   

And that’s when it hit me.  I have a choice.  Let my (Mental) Edge conquer any hopes of playing my best or do something different.  That’s how goes in life off the court as well, doesn’t it? 

I choose to harness the strength my (Mental) Edge had and reverse it – to psyche me up! Kinda like using my superpowers for good.  I sat there; I remembered the goals I wrote last year at just wanting to win a tournament by year end.  And here I am at the start of the year with a tournament within my grasp.  I needed my (Mental) Edge to help me grasp it.   And that’s just what I was able to do.  Grasp it using my (Mental) Edge. 

Here’s what you can do to keep your (Mental) Edge in grasp on or off the court: 

• Get calm, really calm with yourself
• Envision what it is you want – what’s the end result?  See it. Vividly. Feel it.  Wildly. 
• Bite-size it (see little pieces along the way, these are much more doable for me.  A point at a time, a good service game, whatever it takes to inch ahead to the big prize)
• Feel it.  This is where, at least in sports, muscle memory can help you achieve anything.  I rid the mind on both positive and negative thoughts, and kept telling myself “I’ve been here before, you know what to do.  Just focus on doing it.”   
• Act. This is where the (Mental) Edge comes alive.  In the action.  Continued action that brings about success fuels you’re (Mental) Edge.   

What’s one thing in your life – on or off the court – that could benefit from an increased (Mental) Edge?

What are you willing to do (notice, I don’t say try) these 5 simple steps to increasing your own (Mental) Edge? 

Here’s to continued success!

Engaged. Or not engaged, that is a question with many answers.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about what really makes work work? I’ve been part of a few organizations where it seems to be effortless – and then there’s other organizations where it doesn’t seem no matter is going on – it’s not working!

Are you actively engaged at your workplace? How about in the work you do?

If so, what’s working? (that’s code for leave a comment)

Great Conversations

Throughout our day there are many opportunities to create Great Conversations. Through conversation, we find connections with others. It’s a way to build relationships and get things done. It’s also a way to find meaning and purpose within ourselves. A Great Conversation is one in which there is a give and a take, mutual understanding and a shared responsibility. Creating Great Conversation is an art, an art anyone can learn.

Think about one of the last really great conversations you had.

• Who was it with?What did you talk about?
• What connections were generated or fused together?
• How did you feel afterwards?
• How about during?

There are a variety of Great Conversations that can take place. Presented here are three most common to work and careers. The first is often the easiest to avoid.

The Difficult Conversation.

How do you eat an elephant? You start by taking the first bite. That’s what you need to do in a difficult conversation. Take the first bite – not literally, that’s not going to accomplish anything. But, you do need to start some place. When faced with a difficult conversation, your place in the conversation is essential to its outcome.

Do you come from a place of fear? A place where you feel attacked, unsure of what’s next or even betrayed? It’s easy to throw up the defensive coat of arms and ready yourself for battle, again, that will get you no where.

Your place must come from curiosity. A desire to seek and understand.

According to Ed Batista, a leadership coach from Stanford University, there are 4 tips on starting the difficult conversation.

1. Start with something positive. This will ensure that you lead with your best foot and connect with the other person.
2. Use “I” statements to express your perspective and your feelings. Starting from the place of curiosity will help you uncover the many facets of the possible “truth” in question.
3. Don’t make assumptions about the other party’s perspective. (They may not even be aware that there’s a problem, or it may not be their fault–and they may be happy to help solve it if they’re approached in the right way.)
4. State your request clearly, firmly and politely. (And acknowledge any concessions that are granted.)

The Networking Conversation.

I had a chance to meet Harvey Mckay, the networking guru, last summer. This is a man who knows (and teaches!) the art of creating Great Conversations through networking. Networking isn’t just about shaking hands and exchanging cards. It’s really about relationship building. Conversation is about relationship building. Mckay asserts that the time to dig your well (build your network) isn’t when you are thirsty (looking for a job) but now. Engaging in the Networking Conversation is simple. It’s about making connections with people you want to know. These may be people who are able to help you in the next phase of your career. Moreover, they are people that you are creating relationships with through the art of conversation.

The Networking Conversation has a simple formula: Ask. Listen. Share.

When you meet someone, ask a question that allows them to start their story. This engages the person and allows them to share what’s important to them. “How did you get started in your field?” “What do you enjoy most about the work you do?” “What’s the secret to your success?” People enjoy sharing their stories. After you’ve heard their story, it’s time to share a bit of yours. Here, and only here, is when the more-than-formal ritual of the “card exchange” occurs. This is your pass to continue the Networking Conversation and build the relationship even further. Be sure to ask how and when you should follow up.

The Development Conversation.

This conversation is about enhancing your current job skills, knowledge or abilities. Too often, we become complacent in our daily work routines. To keep engaged and build your skill set, seek out new opportunities within your current job to keep you moving along your career path – these are referred to as development activities.

Before initiating this conversation with your manager, have a keen sense of where you are AND where you’d like to be. Identify work related interests that you would like to enhance and that will contribute to the mission of the organization. The Development Conversation is about building on the skills you already have.

To help you prepare for this conversation, take a few minutes to complete these questions:

• What future career related goals do you have?
• What are your current strengths related to the work you do?
• What areas or skills would you like to further enhance or develop?
• What action steps would help you accomplish this?
• At the end of the year, how will you benefit from these development activities?
• How will your organization benefit?

Once you have reflected on these questions, have the Development Conversation with your supervisor. Follow these simple steps:

1. Set up a meeting with your manager. Ask for an hour to discuss development opportunities.
2. At the meeting, clarify with your manager, the goals and priorities for the department over the next year or two, and how you fit into this vision or plan.
3. Describe to your manager the skills that you would like to build on, and ask for help in finding ways to link your career goals to the vision of the department.
4. Together, identify appropriate opportunities that would get you closer to achieving your goals.
5. Set up a time to revisit your progress and get input from your supervisor along the way.

Here are a few more resources to help you initiate Great Conversations in your workplace:

Crucial Conversations by Peterson, Grenny, McMillan and Switzler

 

Initiating Difficult Conversations

Tools from Harvey Mckay

Relationships at Works

 

The Essence of the YES.

I’m reading a really great book, entitled The Yes Man, by Danny Wallace.  Like many of us, Danny’s gone through life avoiding things.  Unconsciously, of course.  Or at least that’s what he’ll have you believe.  The basic premise is that Danny’s miserable.  Avoids going for a beer with his “mates,” let’s the voicemail or caller-id kick into full swing. And makes excuses for just about anything – just to avoid having to do everything. He finds himself on a bus, telling his story to some poor soul next to him.  The advice this wise (and surely patient) man is “Say Yes more.” 

Simple.

Listening to the Universe

Sometimes it takes a loud speaker, like the other night. I grabbed a salad and kept hearing “Assistance needed in the greeting card aisle.” “Manager needed in the Greeting Card isle.” And then it hit me, after four messages from the “universe” I need to pick up a birthday card for my brother in-law.

Sometimes I need the swift kick in the shin. Other times, just a gentle nudge.

On the way to work, I heard the author, Will Bowan of the acclaimed A Complaint Free World. Interesting, liked what I was hearing.

Sabotaged by Success?

Is it possible that too much success can actually sabotage the results you are looking for?  Think about it, you start exercising, dieting, curtailing the booze.  The pounds start to drop away.  Great.  Then you try to figure out the “break-even” point of how of much can I cheat in order to still succeed.  The problem here is that you cross the cheat threshold and zap back to the start. 

To avoid this you must

Do. Or Do Not. There is no Try.

As the great Jedi-master, Yoda, said to his young protégé Luke. Some of the best advice about commitment and goal setting that I have heard. It’s in the power of language. The choices you make when you state – emphatically – to do something. Or not.

This time of year is filled with resolutions that are half-hearted. Un-believed even by the ones who state them emphatically. This year, try – no DO! – something different.

Love What You Do

Love is big; maybe it’s just “enjoy a bit more” for you. I think that’s great. It’s about raising the enjoyment bar a bit higher. And today, I go that opportunity to raise the bar.

At the end of the year recognition event for 220 people, I was able to provide a bit of community building coupled with great conversation. In the midst of the conversation some really great things happened.

A Life Re-do.

If given the chance to start fresh, would you? It’s a question that was prompted from my reading of Rules for Renegades by Christine Comaford-Lynch this morning. Interesting. The original questions stems from author, Diane Conway, asking people this very question, “How many of you would start over if you could?” What’s astounding is that about 80% of her audience